Engagements......awakening the mean girl.....

Whenever anyone gets engaged I can hand on heart say I have always been happy for them. Always. For two people to make such a commitment to their future it always restored my faith in happy ever afters! The only even minor negative thoughts I've ever had surrounding engagements are those that took place when we were in our 20's. As we saw so many get engaged and very few actually marry. In fact I can think of 1 of my close friends engaged in her early 20's and married and one other who only got married very recently! So imagine my surprise when I became engaged at the grand old age of 33 that amongst the congratulations were.....well just meanness!

These included my ring being checked under 4 different lights from one friend who was checking for "clouds" or "scuffs" and seemed more and more disappointed each time she couldnt find any?! Another who I'd told my wedding plans to years ago (in a dream wedding kind of way...not that I had it carefully planned out!) to book that exact venue Another butting in each time someone congratulated me to say she may still get married before me.....she's not engaged yet. And true! If it takes us a year or 2 she could well be married before me! But it kind of left the person congratulating me a bit confused as to why that came up?! And friends who are currently planning weddings that are booked and that I am involved in suddenly locking down and vanishing! I assume so as not to share any wedding plan secrets I may steal as my own! I'm sure one is devestated she showed me a photo of her dress. One commented on how she couldnt believe how "obsessed" people are with my engagement as she felt hers was barely noticed, and another who is engaged being blunt about the fact she isnt in the slightest bit happy for me as her plans are not going well. On top of this there's the upset it seems to cause people?! When you tell them of our plans to elope (which has always been our plan, from the first time we were together and not even engaged!) and we have always been vocal about this! Somehow we are taking it away from them? Like it's their wedding day and you wont let them attend. Our parents support the decision and we are having a do when we get back, so why should anyone else be upset? I dont know I'm confused! Some are even threatening to turn up! Some have said they can come secretly and wont be in the pictures and no one else will know! And they are people that to be honest I'm surprised are that bothered? They're not people we are closest to! So my excitement has almost turned to.....I dont know? Like I've done something wrong! Like my happiness somehow makes other's unhappy? Or I shouldnt shout about it, for fear I rub it in that finally we have it together enough to be engaged. Of all the ups and downs and round and rounds in our 20's finally we are here! At a place where we are planning to get married! And I just feel.....it should be a secret, for fear of another harsh comment, or disappointed response when we tell of our plans. They say its the most stressful time! And I now know why! I'm glad now we have decided it will just be us. As even the engagement news has caused this much stress I cant imagine how trying to keep everyone happy on the day must be! It's just going to be us, only we need to be happy.